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Zuleika Dobson, by Max Beerbohm

CHAPTER 3

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_ The clock in the Warden's drawing-room had just struck eight, and
already the ducal feet were beautiful on the white bearskin hearthrug.
So slim and long were they, of instep so nobly arched, that only with
a pair of glazed ox-tongues on a breakfast-table were they comparable.
Incomparable quite, the figure and face and vesture of him who ended
in them.

The Warden was talking to him, with all the deference of elderly
commoner to patrician boy. The other guests--an Oriel don and his
wife--were listening with earnest smile and submissive droop, at a
slight distance. Now and again, to put themselves at their ease, they
exchanged in undertone a word or two about the weather.

"The young lady whom you may have noticed with me," the Warden was
saying, "is my orphaned grand-daughter." (The wife of the Oriel don
discarded her smile, and sighed, with a glance at the Duke, who was
himself an orphan.) "She has come to stay with me." (The Duke glanced
quickly round the room.) "I cannot think why she is not down yet."
(The Oriel don fixed his eyes on the clock, as though he suspected it
of being fast.) "I must ask you to forgive her. She appears to be a
bright, pleasant young woman."

"Married?" asked the Duke.

"No," said the Warden; and a cloud of annoyance crossed the boy's
face. "No; she devotes her life entirely to good works."

"A hospital nurse?" the Duke murmured.

"No, Zuleika's appointed task is to induce delightful wonder rather
than to alleviate pain. She performs conjuring-tricks."

"Not--not Miss Zuleika Dobson?" cried the Duke.

"Ah yes. I forgot that she had achieved some fame in the outer world.
Perhaps she has already met you?"

"Never," said the young man coldly. "But of course I have heard of
Miss Dobson. I did not know she was related to you."

The Duke had an intense horror of unmarried girls. All his vacations
were spent in eluding them and their chaperons. That he should be
confronted with one of them--with such an one of them!--in Oxford,
seemed to him sheer violation of sanctuary. The tone, therefore, in
which he said "I shall be charmed," in answer to the Warden's request
that he would take Zuleika into dinner, was very glacial. So was his
gaze when, a moment later, the young lady made her entry.

"She did not look like an orphan," said the wife of the Oriel don,
subsequently, on the way home. The criticism was a just one. Zuleika
would have looked singular in one of those lowly double-files of
straw-bonnets and drab cloaks which are so steadying a feature of our
social system. Tall and lissom, she was sheathed from the bosom
downwards in flamingo silk, and she was liberally festooned with
emeralds. Her dark hair was not even strained back from her forehead
and behind her ears, as an orphan's should be. Parted somewhere at the
side, it fell in an avalanche of curls upon one eyebrow. From her
right ear drooped heavily a black pearl, from her left a pink; and
their difference gave an odd, bewildering witchery to the little face
between.

Was the young Duke bewitched? Instantly, utterly. But none could have
guessed as much from his cold stare, his easy and impassive bow.
Throughout dinner, none guessed that his shirt-front was but the
screen of a fierce warfare waged between pride and passion. Zuleika,
at the foot of the table, fondly supposed him indifferent to her.
Though he sat on her right, not one word or glance would he give her.
All his conversation was addressed to the unassuming lady who sat on
his other side, next to the Warden. Her he edified and flustered
beyond measure by his insistent courtesy. Her husband, alone on the
other side of the table, was mortified by his utter failure to engage
Zuleika in small-talk. Zuleika was sitting with her profile turned to
him--the profile with the pink pearl--and was gazing full at the young
Duke. She was hardly more affable than a cameo. "Yes," "No," "I don't
know," were the only answers she would vouchsafe to his questions. A
vague "Oh really?" was all he got for his timid little offerings of
information. In vain he started the topic of modern conjuring-tricks
as compared with the conjuring-tricks performed by the ancient
Egyptians. Zuleika did not even say "Oh really?" when he told her
about the metamorphosis of the bulls in the Temple of Osiris. He
primed himself with a glass of sherry, cleared his throat. "And what,"
he asked, with a note of firmness, "did you think of our cousins
across the water?" Zuleika said "Yes;" and then he gave in. Nor was
she conscious that he ceased talking to her. At intervals throughout
the rest of dinner, she murmured "Yes," and "No," and "Oh really?"
though the poor little don was now listening silently to the Duke and
the Warden.

She was in a trance of sheer happiness. At last, she thought, her hope
was fulfilled--that hope which, although she had seldom remembered it
in the joy of her constant triumphs, had been always lurking in her,
lying near to her heart and chafing her, like the shift of sackcloth
which that young brilliant girl, loved and lost of Giacopone di Todi,
wore always in secret submission to her own soul, under the fair soft
robes and the rubies men saw on her. At last, here was the youth who
would not bow down to her; whom, looking up to him, she could adore.
She ate and drank automatically, never taking her gaze from him. She
felt not one touch of pique at his behaviour. She was tremulous with a
joy that was new to her, greater than any joy she had known. Her soul
was as a flower in its opetide. She was in love. Rapt, she studied
every lineament of the pale and perfect face--the brow from which
bronze-coloured hair rose in tiers of burnished ripples; the large
steel-coloured eyes, with their carven lids; the carven nose, and the
plastic lips. She noted how long and slim were his fingers, and how
slender his wrists. She noted the glint cast by the candles upon his
shirt-front. The two large white pearls there seemed to her symbols of
his nature. They were like two moons: cold, remote, radiant. Even when
she gazed at the Duke's face, she was aware of them in her vision.

Nor was the Duke unconscious, as he seemed to be, of her scrutiny.
Though he kept his head averse, he knew that always her eyes were
watching him. Obliquely, he saw them; saw, too, the contour of the
face, and the black pearl and the pink; could not blind himself, try
as he would. And he knew that he was in love.

Like Zuleika herself, this young Duke was in love for the first time.
Wooed though he had been by almost as many maidens as she by youths,
his heart, like hers, had remained cold. But he had never felt, as she
had, the desire to love. He was not now rejoicing, as she was, in the
sensation of first love; nay, he was furiously mortified by it, and
struggled with all his might against it. He had always fancied himself
secure against any so vulgar peril; always fancied that by him at
least, the proud old motto of his family--"Pas si bete"--would not be
belied. And I daresay, indeed, that had he never met Zuleika, the
irresistible, he would have lived, and at a very ripe old age died, a
dandy without reproach. For in him the dandiacal temper had been
absolute hitherto, quite untainted and unruffled. He was too much
concerned with his own perfection ever to think of admiring any one
else. Different from Zuleika, he cared for his wardrobe and his
toilet-table not as a means to making others admire him the more, but
merely as a means through which he could intensify, a ritual in which
to express and realise, his own idolatry. At Eton he had been called
"Peacock," and this nick-name had followed him up to Oxford. It was
not wholly apposite, however. For, whereas the peacock is a fool even
among birds, the Duke had already taken (besides a particularly
brilliant First in Mods) the Stanhope, the Newdigate, the Lothian, and
the Gaisford Prize for Greek Verse. And these things he had achieved
currente calamo, "wielding his pen," as Scott said of Byron, "with the
easy negligence of a nobleman." He was now in his third year of
residence, and was reading, a little, for Literae Humaniores. There is
no doubt that but for his untimely death he would have taken a
particularly brilliant First in that school also.

For the rest, he had many accomplishments. He was adroit in the
killing of all birds and fishes, stags and foxes. He played polo,
cricket, racquets, chess, and billiards as well as such things can be
played. He was fluent in all modern languages, had a very real talent
in water-colour, and was accounted, by those who had had the privilege
of hearing him, the best amateur pianist on this side of the Tweed.
Little wonder, then, that he was idolised by the undergraduates of his
day. He did not, however, honour many of them with his friendship. He
had a theoretic liking for them as a class, as the "young barbarians
all at play" in that little antique city; but individually they jarred
on him, and he saw little of them. Yet he sympathised with them
always, and, on occasion, would actively take their part against the
dons. In the middle of his second year, he had gone so far that a
College Meeting had to be held, and he was sent down for the rest of
term. The Warden placed his own landau at the disposal of the
illustrious young exile, who therein was driven to the station,
followed by a long, vociferous procession of undergraduates in cabs.
Now, it happened that this was a time of political excitement in
London. The Liberals, who were in power, had passed through the House
of Commons a measure more than usually socialistic; and this measure
was down for its second reading in the Lords on the very day that the
Duke left Oxford, an exile. It was but a few weeks since he had taken
his seat in the Lords; and this afternoon, for the want of anything
better to do, he strayed in. The Leader of the House was already
droning his speech for the bill, and the Duke found himself on one of
the opposite benches. There sat his compeers, sullenly waiting to vote
for a bill which every one of them detested. As the speaker subsided,
the Duke, for the fun of the thing, rose. He made a long speech
against the bill. His gibes at the Government were so scathing, so
utterly destructive his criticism of the bill itself, so lofty and so
irresistible the flights of his eloquence, that, when he resumed his
seat, there was only one course left to the Leader of the House. He
rose and, in a few husky phrases, moved that the bill "be read this
day six months." All England rang with the name of the young Duke. He
himself seemed to be the one person unmoved by his exploit. He did not
re-appear in the Upper Chamber, and was heard to speak in slighting
terms of its architecture, as well as of its upholstery. Nevertheless,
the Prime Minister became so nervous that he procured for him, a month
later, the Sovereign's offer of a Garter which had just fallen vacant.
The Duke accepted it. He was, I understand, the only undergraduate on
whom this Order had ever been conferred. He was very much pleased with
the insignia, and when, on great occasions, he wore them, no one dared
say that the Prime Minister's choice was not fully justified. But you
must not imagine that he cared for them as symbols of achievement and
power. The dark blue riband, and the star scintillating to eight
points, the heavy mantle of blue velvet, with its lining of taffeta
and shoulder-knots of white satin, the crimson surcoat, the great
embullioned tassels, and the chain of linked gold, and the plumes of
ostrich and heron uprising from the black velvet hat--these things had
for him little significance save as a fine setting, a finer setting
than the most elaborate smoking-suit, for that perfection of aspect
which the gods had given him. This was indeed the gift he valued
beyond all others. He knew well, however, that women care little for a
man's appearance, and that what they seek in a man is strength of
character, and rank, and wealth. These three gifts the Duke had in a
high degree, and he was by women much courted because of them.
Conscious that every maiden he met was eager to be his Duchess, he had
assumed always a manner of high austerity among maidens, and even if
he had wished to flirt with Zuleika he would hardly have known how to
do it. But he did not wish to flirt with her. That she had bewitched
him did but make it the more needful that he should shun all converse
with her. It was imperative that he should banish her from his mind,
quickly. He must not dilute his own soul's essence. He must not
surrender to any passion his dandihood. The dandy must be celibate,
cloistral; is, indeed, but a monk with a mirror for beads and breviary
--an anchorite, mortifying his soul that his body may be perfect. Till
he met Zuleika, the Duke had not known the meaning of temptation. He
fought now, a St. Anthony, against the apparition. He would not look
at her, and he hated her. He loved her, and he could not help seeing
her. The black pearl and the pink seemed to dangle ever nearer and
clearer to him, mocking him and beguiling. Inexpellible was her image.

So fierce was the conflict in him that his outward nonchalance
gradually gave way. As dinner drew to its close, his conversation with
the wife of the Oriel don flagged and halted. He sank, at length, into
a deep silence. He sat with downcast eyes, utterly distracted.

Suddenly, something fell, plump! into the dark whirlpool of his
thoughts. He started. The Warden was leaning forward, had just said
something to him.

"I beg your pardon?" asked the Duke. Dessert, he noticed, was on the
table, and he was paring an apple. The Oriel don was looking at him
with sympathy, as at one who had swooned and was just "coming to."

"Is it true, my dear Duke," the Warden repeated, "that you have been
persuaded to play to-morrow evening at the Judas concert?"

"Ah yes, I am going to play something."

Zuleika bent suddenly forward, addressed him. "Oh," she cried,
clasping her hands beneath her chin, "will you let me come and turn
over the leaves for you?"

He looked her full in the face. It was like seeing suddenly at close
quarters some great bright monument that one has long known only as a
sun-caught speck in the distance. He saw the large violet eyes open to
him, and their lashes curling to him; the vivid parted lips; and the
black pearl, and the pink.

"You are very kind," he murmured, in a voice which sounded to him
quite far away. "But I always play without notes."

Zuleika blushed. Not with shame, but with delirious pleasure. For that
snub she would just then have bartered all the homage she had hoarded.
This, she felt, was the climax. She would not outstay it. She rose,
smiling to the wife of the Oriel don. Every one rose. The Oriel don
held open the door, and the two ladies passed out of the room.

The Duke drew out his cigarette case. As he looked down at the
cigarettes, he was vaguely conscious of some strange phenomenon
somewhere between them and his eyes. Foredone by the agitation of the
past hour, he did not at once realise what it was that he saw. His
impression was of something in bad taste, some discord in his costume
. . . a black pearl and a pink pearl in his shirt-front!

Just for a moment, absurdly over-estimating poor Zuleika's skill, he
supposed himself a victim of legerdemain. Another moment, and the
import of the studs revealed itself. He staggered up from his chair,
covering his breast with one arm, and murmured that he was faint. As
he hurried from the room, the Oriel don was pouring out a tumbler of
water and suggesting burnt feathers. The Warden, solicitous, followed
him into the hall. He snatched up his hat, gasping that he had spent a
delightful evening--was very sorry--was subject to these attacks. Once
outside, he took frankly to his heels.

At the corner of the Broad, he looked back over his shoulder. He had
half expected a scarlet figure skimming in pursuit. There was nothing.
He halted. Before him, the Broad lay empty beneath the moon. He went
slowly, mechanically, to his rooms.

The high grim busts of the Emperors stared down at him, their faces
more than ever tragically cavernous and distorted. They saw and read
in that moonlight the symbols on his breast. As he stood on his
doorstep, waiting for the door to be opened, he must have seemed to
them a thing for infinite compassion. For were they not privy to the
doom that the morrow, or the morrow's morrow, held for him--held not
indeed for him alone, yet for him especially, as it were, and for him
most lamentably? _

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