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				Title:     The World's Most Famous Oration 
			    
Author: Christopher Morley [
More Titles by Morley]		                
			    
Address to An Employer Upon Demanding a Raise, or, The Battle of Manila Envelopes
    As Planned                  As DeliveredI think you will admit,         If you are not too
sir, that the quality           busy, sir, there is one
of my work during the           other matter--in fact,
last two years has been         the truth of the matter
such that my services           in fact is exactly--well,
could not easily be replaced.   sir, I was precisely
I speak more                    wondering whether--of
in pain than in anger           course I know this is a
when I say that it has          bad time--indeed I have
been a matter of profound       been very pleased to see
surprise to me to               business picking up a
note that you have not          bit lately, and I am sure
seen fit to acknowledge         my own department has
my value to the firm in         been--but to tell you the
some substantial way. I         truth, sir, I have been
think I may say that            wondering--of course it
I have been patient.            is just as you think best
I have continued my             and I wouldn't think of
efforts with unremitting        insisting, but after all,
zeal, and I think I may         perhaps I have made a
flatter myself that my          mistake in mentioning
endeavors have not been         it, but I was thinking
without result. I have          that possibly you might
here, carefully tabulated,      bear in mind the idea of
a memorandum of                 a possible future raise in
the increased profits in        salary at some future time.
my department during
the last twelve months,
due in great part to my
careful management. I
am sorry to have to
force you into a decision,
but I think I owe it to
myself to say candidly
that unless you see the
matter in the same way
that I do I shall feel
obliged to deprive the
firm of my services.
[The end]
Christopher Morley's essay: The World's Most Famous Oration
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