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Title: Scene From A Play, Acted At Oxford, Called "Matriculation"
Author: Thomas Moore [
More Titles by Moore]
Scene from a Play, Acted At Oxford, Called "matriculation."[1]
[Boy discovered at a table, with the Thirty-Nine Articles before him.--Enter the Rt. Rev. Doctor Phillpots.]
_Doctor P_.--There, my lad, lie the
Articles--(_Boy begins to count them_) just thirty nine--
No occasion to count--you've now only to sign.
At Cambridge where folks are less High-church than we,
The whole Nine-and-Thirty are lumped into Three.
Let's run o'er the items;--there 'a Justification,
Predestination, and Supererogation--
Not forgetting Salvation and Creed Athanasian,
Till we reach, at last, Queen Bess's Ratification.
That is sufficient--now, sign--having read quite enough,
You "believe in the full and true meaning thereof?"
(_Boy stares_.)
Oh! a mere form of words, to make things smooth and brief,--
A commodious and short make-believe of belief,
Which our Church has drawn up in a form thus articular
To keep out in general all who're particular.
But what's the boy doing? what! reading all thro',
And my luncheon fast cooling!--this never will do.
_Boy_ (_poring over the Articles_).--
Here are points which--pray, Doctor, what's "Grace of Congruity?"
_Doctor P._ (_sharply_).--You'll find out, young sir, when
you've more ingenuity.
At present, by signing, you pledge yourself merely.
Whate'er it may be, to believe it sincerely,
Both in _dining_ and _signing_ we take the same plan,--
First, swallow all down, then digest--as we can.
_Boy_ (_still reading_).--I've to gulp, I see, St. Athanasius's Creed,
Which. I'm told, is a very tough morsel indeed;
As he damns--
_Doctor P. (aside)_.--Ay, and so would _I_, willingly, too,
All confounded particular young boobies, like you.
This comes of Reforming!--all's o'er with our land,
When people won't stand what they can't _under_-stand;
Nor perceive that our ever-revered Thirty-Nine
Were made not for men to _believe_ but to _sign_.
_Exit Dr. P. in a passion_.
[1] It appears that when a youth of fifteen went to be matriculated at Oxford, he was required first to subscribe the Thirty-Nine Articles of Religious Belief.
[The end]
Thomas Moore's poem: Scene From A Play, Acted At Oxford, Called "Matriculation"
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