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Title: 'Controversial Methods'
Author: Harry Graham [
More Titles by Graham]
It doesn't matter if I goes
Inside our local Workman's Club
To 'ave a game o' dominoes,
Or drops into the nearest pub;
In 'arf a moment in 'll walk
Some bloke as starts a fiscal talk.
An' if I ever tries, per'aps,
To criticise this scheme o' Joe's,
There's always some excited chaps
As leads from arguments to blows.
An' then we throws the things about,
Till someone calls the chucker-out.
They states that England's gone to pot,
That ev'ry trade is lost to 'er;
An' if I dares to say it's not,
They calls me 'Little Englander'!
(On one I 'ad to use my fist:
'E said I was a 'hoptimist.')
Nor yet it ain't no furrin foes
As thus belittles Britain's fame;
It's partisans o' good old Joe's
As brings discredit on 'er name,
By shouting out to ev'ryone
That little England's day is done.
One night Jim Adams sez to me,
'Ole England's rotten to the core!'
An' when 'e finds I don't agree,
'E ups an' calls me a pro-Boer!
(I 'ad a word or two with 'im;
'E's still in 'orspital, is Jim!)
If them so-called Imperialists
Is blokes as runs their country down,
Upon 'er ruined state insists,
An' tries to blacken 'er renown,
Then I for one 'ud much prefer
To be a 'Little Englander.'
If wot their politicians styles
The 'patriotic' point of view
Is saying that these British Isles
'As lost their trade an' credit too,
I ain't a patriot no more:
I'm just a hoptimist pro-Boer!
I'm not the sort o' chap as blames
Them folks as don't agree wi' me,
But when they calls me silly names
Because my fiscal views is Free,
It don't require no further flaws
To see the weakness o' their cause.
[The end]
Harry Graham's poem: 'Controversial Methods'
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