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The Way of All Flesh, by Samuel Butler

CHAPTER XLII

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_ About a week before he went back to school his father again sent for
him into the dining-room, and told him that he should restore him
his watch, but that he should deduct the sum he had paid for it--for
he had thought it better to pay a few shillings rather than dispute
the ownership of the watch, seeing that Ernest had undoubtedly given
it to Ellen--from his pocket money, in payments which should extend
over two half years. He would therefore have to go back to
Roughborough this half year with only five shillings' pocket money.
If he wanted more he must earn more merit money.

Ernest was not so careful about money as a pattern boy should be.
He did not say to himself, "Now I have got a sovereign which must
last me fifteen weeks, therefore I may spend exactly one shilling
and fourpence in each week"--and spend exactly one and fourpence in
each week accordingly. He ran through his money at about the same
rate as other boys did, being pretty well cleaned out a few days
after he had got back to school. When he had no more money, he got
a little into debt, and when as far in debt as he could see his way
to repaying, he went without luxuries. Immediately he got any money
he would pay his debts; if there was any over he would spend it; if
there was not--and there seldom was--he would begin to go on tick
again.

His finance was always based upon the supposition that he should go
back to school with 1 pounds in his pocket--of which he owed say a
matter of fifteen shillings. There would be five shillings for
sundry school subscriptions--but when these were paid the weekly
allowance of sixpence given to each boy in hall, his merit money
(which this half he was resolved should come to a good sum) and
renewed credit, would carry him through the half.

The sudden failure of 15/- was disastrous to my hero's scheme of
finance. His face betrayed his emotions so clearly that Theobald
said he was determined "to learn the truth at once, and THIS TIME
without days and days of falsehood" before he reached it. The
melancholy fact was not long in coming out, namely, that the
wretched Ernest added debt to the vices of idleness, falsehood and
possibly--for it was not impossible--immorality.

How had he come to get into debt? Did the other boys do so? Ernest
reluctantly admitted that they did.

With what shops did they get into debt?

This was asking too much, Ernest said he didn't know!

"Oh, Ernest, Ernest," exclaimed his mother, who was in the room, "do
not so soon a second time presume upon the forbearance of the
tenderest-hearted father in the world. Give time for one stab to
heal before you wound him with another."

This was all very fine, but what was Ernest to do? How could he get
the school shopkeepers into trouble by owning that they let some of
the boys go on tick with them? There was Mrs Cross, a good old
soul, who used to sell hot rolls and butter for breakfast, or eggs
and toast, or it might be the quarter of a fowl with bread sauce and
mashed potatoes for which she would charge 6d. If she made a
farthing out of the sixpence it was as much as she did. When the
boys would come trooping into her shop after "the hounds" how often
had not Ernest heard her say to her servant girls, "Now then, you
wanches, git some cheers." All the boys were fond of her, and was
he, Ernest, to tell tales about her? It was horrible.

"Now look here, Ernest," said his father with his blackest scowl, "I
am going to put a stop to this nonsense once for all. Either take
me fully into your confidence, as a son should take a father, and
trust me to deal with this matter as a clergyman and a man of the
world--or understand distinctly that I shall take the whole story to
Dr Skinner, who, I imagine, will take much sterner measures than I
should."

"Oh, Ernest, Ernest," sobbed Christina, "be wise in time, and trust
those who have already shown you that they know but too well how to
be forbearing."

No genuine hero of romance should have hesitated for a moment.
Nothing should have cajoled or frightened him into telling tales out
of school. Ernest thought of his ideal boys: they, he well knew,
would have let their tongues be cut out of them before information
could have been wrung from any word of theirs. But Ernest was not
an ideal boy, and he was not strong enough for his surroundings; I
doubt how far any boy could withstand the moral pressure which was
brought to bear upon him; at any rate he could not do so, and after
a little more writhing he yielded himself a passive prey to the
enemy. He consoled himself with the reflection that his papa had
not played the confidence trick on him quite as often as his mamma
had, and that probably it was better he should tell his father, than
that his father should insist on Dr Skinner's making an inquiry.
His papa's conscience "jabbered" a good deal, but not as much as his
mamma's. The little fool forgot that he had not given his father as
many chances of betraying him as he had given to Christina.

Then it all came out. He owed this at Mrs Cross's, and this to Mrs
Jones, and this at the "Swan and Bottle" public house, to say
nothing of another shilling or sixpence or two in other quarters.
Nevertheless, Theobald and Christina were not satiated, but rather
the more they discovered the greater grew their appetite for
discovery; it was their obvious duty to find out everything, for
though they might rescue their own darling from this hotbed of
iniquity without getting to know more than they knew at present,
were there not other papas and mammas with darlings whom also they
were bound to rescue if it were yet possible? What boys, then, owed
money to these harpies as well as Ernest?

Here, again, there was a feeble show of resistance, but the
thumbscrews were instantly applied, and Ernest, demoralised as he
already was, recanted and submitted himself to the powers that were.
He told only a little less than he knew or thought he knew. He was
examined, re-examined, cross-examined, sent to the retirement of his
own bedroom and cross-examined again; the smoking in Mrs Jones'
kitchen all came out; which boys smoked and which did not; which
boys owed money and, roughly, how much and where; which boys swore
and used bad language. Theobald was resolved that this time Ernest
should, as he called it, take him into his confidence without
reserve, so the school list which went with Dr Skinner's half-yearly
bills was brought out, and the most secret character of each boy was
gone through seriatim by Mr and Mrs Pontifex, so far as it was in
Ernest's power to give information concerning it, and yet Theobald
had on the preceding Sunday preached a less feeble sermon than he
commonly preached, upon the horrors of the Inquisition. No matter
how awful was the depravity revealed to them, the pair never
flinched, but probed and probed, till they were on the point of
reaching subjects more delicate than they had yet touched upon.
Here Ernest's unconscious self took the matter up and made a
resistance to which his conscious self was unequal, by tumbling him
off his chair in a fit of fainting.

Dr Martin was sent for and pronounced the boy to be seriously
unwell; at the same time he prescribed absolute rest and absence
from nervous excitement. So the anxious parents were unwillingly
compelled to be content with what they had got already--being
frightened into leading him a quiet life for the short remainder of
the holidays. They were not idle, but Satan can find as much
mischief for busy hands as for idle ones, so he sent a little job in
the direction of Battersby which Theobald and Christina undertook
immediately. It would be a pity, they reasoned, that Ernest should
leave Roughborough, now that he had been there three years; it would
be difficult to find another school for him, and to explain why he
had left Roughborough. Besides, Dr Skinner and Theobald were
supposed to be old friends, and it would be unpleasant to offend
him; these were all valid reasons for not removing the boy. The
proper thing to do, then, would be to warn Dr Skinner confidentially
of the state of his school, and to furnish him with a school list
annotated with the remarks extracted from Ernest, which should be
appended to the name of each boy.

Theobald was the perfection of neatness; while his son was ill
upstairs, he copied out the school list so that he could throw his
comments into a tabular form, which assumed the following shape--
only that of course I have changed the names. One cross in each
square was to indicate occasional offence; two stood for frequent,
and three for habitual delinquency.

__________Smoking_____Drinking_beer____Swearing______Notes
______________________at_the_"Swan_____and_Obscene
______________________and_Bottle."_____Language.
Smith________O____________O______________XX__________Will_smoke
_____________________________________________________next_half
Brown_______XXX___________O_______________X
Jones________X____________XX______________XXX
Robinson____XX____________XX______________X

And thus through the whole school.

Of course, in justice to Ernest, Dr Skinner would be bound over to
secrecy before a word was said to him, but, Ernest being thus
protected, he could not be furnished with the facts too completely. _

Read next: CHAPTER XLIII

Read previous: CHAPTER XLI

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