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Frank Merriwell's Chums, a novel by Burt L. Standish |
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Chapter 14. Lively Times |
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_ CHAPTER XIV. LIVELY TIMES Barney and Hans dashed into their room, and tore themselves out of their clothes, which, however, they took care to hang in order on the pegs placed along the partition that divided one end of the room into two alcoves. Long practice enabled them to undress with great swiftness. By the time taps began to sound they were ready to jump into their beds. Barney quickly extinguished the light, but Hans lost no time in getting under the blankets, while the Irish lad made a leap to do so. Then came a cry of astonishment and fear from Hans. "Shimminy Gristmas!" exclaimed the Dutch boy. "Vot dot vos I touch me to, ain'd id?" "Shut up!" growled Barney. "Bad cess to yez! do yez phwant th' officer av th' guarrud doon on us! Kape shtill, ur----" "Wa-ow!" howled Hans, uttering a wild shriek of pain and terror. "I vos caught in der ped my leg by! Dunder und blitzens! I vos bit mit der toe on!" "Begorra! ye hiv gone crazy, ye son av a Dutch chazemaker! Kape shtill thot howlin', ur----" Then Barney's tone suddenly changed, and he let out a yell that would have awakened Rip Van Winkle from his long nap. "Saints defind me! I'm bitten in siventane different places intoirely! Wurra! wurra! Musha! musha! Th' bed is full av crawling crathers!" "Cendibedes!" howled Hans. "Cintipades!" shrieked Barney. Out of the beds they scrambled in hot haste, and to each one six or eight of the crawfish were clinging. "Wao-w!" roared Hans. "Whoop!" bellowed Barney. "I peen kilt alretty yet!" shrieked the Dutch boy. "I peen bit all ofer py does cendibedes!" "Begorra! there's a bushel av th' craythers hangin' to me!" shouted the Irish lad. "Oi'm a dead b'y intoirely!" "Hel-lup! hel-lup!" howled Hans, dismally. Out into the center of the room danced the two boys, fighting, clawing, striking at various parts of their bodies, where the crawfish persistently clung. They collided, and both sat down heavily on the floor. "It's kilt we are!" moaned Barney. "Dot peen near knockin' mine prains oud alretty yet!" declared Hans. "Loight th' lamp!! "Hel-lup! hel-lup! hel-lup!" In some way they scrambled to their feet, and both lunged for the door, which they beat upon with their fists, as if they would tear it down. "Docther!" bellowed Barney. "Toctor!" screamed Hans. "Will yez get away fram thot dure, so Oi can open it?" "Ged avay dot toor from mineself!" flung back the Dutch boy. "I ged me to dot toor first, und I peen der first von oud!" "Oh, ye will, will yez! We'll see about thot!" Biff! smack! thud! thump! The two frantic boys were hammering each other in the darkness of their room, while the listening jokers were convulsed with merriment. The uproar had aroused that entire section of the academy. The sentinel came down the corridor at the double quick, just as Frank Merriwell, partly dressed, leaped out of his room and flung himself against the door of the room from which the racket issued. Other boys came swarming into the corridor, and the excitement was intense. Merriwell burst into the room, and, a moment later, dragged out Hans and Barney into the lighted corridor. The crawfish were still clinging comfortably to various portions of the garments in which the two lads had gone to bed. Seeing the creatures, Hans uttered a howl of agony louder than any that had yet issued from his throat. "Cendibedes!" he wailed. "I vos a tead boy! I vos peen bit in more as nine huntred und sefenteen blaces alretty yet! Vere vos dot toctor?" "They're centipades sure!" groaned Barney. "An Oi didn't belave there wur such craythers! Ouch! ouch! How they boight! Take 'em off!" But the two lads danced, kicked and beat about them with their arms so that no one could remove the crawfish. The boys who were witnesses of this "circus," nearly choked with laughter. Sammy Smiles had a fit, and rolled on the floor, clinging to his sides. All the while Frank was apparently making desperate efforts to quiet the boys and remove the crawfish, but, at the same time he was saying just loud enough for them to hear: "The bite is deadly poison! The only antidote is equal parts of new milk and vinegar taken internally. About a gallon should be absorbed, while a chemically prepared poultice of H2O, _tempus fugit_, and _aqua pura_ should be applied to each and every bite." "Bring' on yer new milk and vinegar, begorra!" roared the Irish boy, wildly. "It's a barrel ur two Oi'll drink av th' sthuff!" "Somepody dose boultices make britty queek alretty!" shouted Hans. "I vant dwo huntred und elefen for dose bites vot I haf all ofer mein body on!" "Keep still!" ordered the sentinel. "Stand still while those crawfish are removed." "You peen bitten all der dime dose cendibedes py, und I pet me my poots you don'd keep very sdill yet avile! We-e-eow! Dey vos eadin' me ub alretty yet!" "Get away wid yez, ye spalpane!" shouted Barney, and one of his wildly waving fists struck the sentinel between the eyes and knocked him over instantly. "Remember it is vinegar and milk that you want, and you must have it," shouted Frank, in the Irish lad's ear. "Every second you delay about procuring it makes your chances all the more desperate." "Begorra! Oi'll hiv it directly, av there's anything av th' sort in th' ranch!" Then Barney made a break for the stairs, with Hans a close second, and the boys could not resist the temptation to rush after them. Never before had there been such an uproar heard in Fardale Academy, and the commotion had brought Professor Gunn and his two principal assistants, Professor Jenks and Professor Scotch, from their rooms on the floor below the "Cockloft." "What can be the meaning of this outrageous hub-bub?" cried Professor Jenks, who, on account of his exceeding height, was known as "High Jinks." "Goodness knows!" exclaimed Professor Gunn, peering over his spectacles in a horrified way at his companions. "It must be a mutiny----" "Or a murder!" chattered Professor Scotch, who was a very small man, and was generally known as "Hot Scotch," because of his fiery red hair and peppery temper. "Let us proceed together to investigate," came resolutely from Professor Gunn's lips. "All right," said High Jinks, bravely. "Lead the way, sir." "Be cautious, gentlemen--be cautious!" urged Hot Scotch, his face pale and his teeth rattling together. "Such dreadful shrieks have never before assailed my ears--never! They are certainly cries of mortal agony!" "Oh, you can go to your room, and lock yourself in, if you are afraid!" came scornfully from the tall professor's lips. "Who's afraid!" bristled the little man, instantly. "You will find I am not afraid of you, sir! I am ready to----" "Gentlemen! gentlemen, silence!" came commandingly from Professor Gunn's lips. "I will not have this unseemly bickering! If you are ready, come on." So they moved toward the stairs, High Jinks resolutely keeping by Professor Gunn's side, while Hot Scotch lingered a little in the rear, clinging to the tail of the head professor's coat. Just as they reached the foot of the stairs and were about to ascend, feet were heard rushing along the corridor above, and then Barney Mulloy came plunging down the stairs, with Hans Dunnerwust riding astride his neck, both in their nightclothes, with a few crawfish still clinging to them. The three professors were unable to get out of the way, so the frantic boys plunged straight into them, and all fell in a struggling, squirming mass on the floor. _ |
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