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ACT III
Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures,
guns, pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in
disorder knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several
revolvers. Near the papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and
a plate of salted herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are
scattered about. SHABELSKI and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the
writing-table. BORKIN is sitting astride a chair in the middle of
the room. PETER is standing near the door.
LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French
know what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the
Germans must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in
their flesh.
SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and
the French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one
another, but you can take my word for it, they will not do more
than that; they'll never fight!
BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this
arming and expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I
would catch all the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with
Pasteur's serum, then I would let them loose in the enemy's
country, and the enemies would all go mad in a month.
LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are
hidden away in it like fish in the sea!
SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius.
LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He
stops laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking
Germany, Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He
fills three glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This
herring is the best of all relishes.
SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man
since the creation of the world has been trying to invent
something better than a salted cucumber, and not one has
succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and fetch some more cucumbers.
And Peter, tell the cook to make four little onion pasties, and
see that we get them hot.
PETER goes out.
LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared
with skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two
little onions, and a little olive oil; mix them together and put
a slice of lemon on top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive
you crazy!
BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right.
They should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs,
and roasted until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch,
crunch!
SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white
mushrooms.
LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so!
SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with
onions and bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was
opened, the odour that floated out was simply intoxicating!
LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks]
Good health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I
can't wait for Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We
haven't seen one at home. Will you please tell me, Count, what
plot you are hatching that takes you to Martha's so often?
SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her.
LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you?
SHABELSKI. Sixty-two.
LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And
Martha is just suited to you!
BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money.
LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon
too?
SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever
fellow is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha.
BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself?
SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah!
BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the
information. So you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say
you will marry Martha and then you say you won't; the devil only
knows which you really mean, but I have given her my word of
honour that you will. So you have changed your mind, have you?
SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man!
BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why
have you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your
title, and she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How
can you make a jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour
is honourable?
SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this
shabby trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly
do it, upon my word I shall! What a joke it will be!
Enter LVOFF.
LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with
LVOFF and sings]
"Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me,
I am scared to death of dying!"
LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet?
LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over
an hour.
LVOFF walks impatiently up and down.
LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day?
LVO FF. Very ill.
LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her?
LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe.
LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she
fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not
much longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint?
When I ran up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with
Nicholas on his knees beside her, and Sasha was standing by them
in tears. Sasha and I went about almost crazy for a week after
that.
SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science,
what scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young
doctor were beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the
chest? It is a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call
such treatment Allopathic or Homeopathic?
LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead,
and walks out of the room.
SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me!
LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did
you offend him?
SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No
hope! She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him!
LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying?
SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think
that a living person could die like that, suddenly, without any
reason at all. Don't let us talk about it!
KOSICH runs in panting.
KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands
quickly all round] Is he at home?
BORKIN. No, he isn't.
KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say
goodbye; I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely
exhausted; run off my feet!
LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from?
KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all
night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced;
that Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just
listen to this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who
jumps away from him] led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led
another diamond. Well, he didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF]
We were playing three in clubs. I had the ace and queen, and the
ace and ten of spades--
LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake,
spare me!
KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen
of clubs, the ace and ten of spades
SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to
you!
KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades
took the first trick--
SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall
shoot!
KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the
Australian bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where
there is no public spirit, and each man lives for himself alone?
However, I must be off. My time is precious. [He shakes hands
with LEBEDIEFF] Pass!
General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into
AVDOTIA.
AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down.
ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once!
AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for
you all over the house. Good-day to you, boys!
[She shakes hands with everybody.]
LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here?
AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with
your highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire
after your health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if
you did not come to see her this evening she would cry her eyes
out. Take him aside, she said, and whisper in his ear. But why
should I make a secret of her message? We are not stealing
chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful love by mutual
consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, I shall
take a drop under these circumstances.
LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be
immortal, you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew
you, thirty years ago.
AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three
husbands, and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a
woman without a dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up
the glass] Well, we have begun a good work, may it come to a good
end! They will live happily ever after, and we shall enjoy their
happiness. Love and good luck to them both! [She drinks] This is
strong vodka!
SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is,
they actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up]
And yet, Paul, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just
out of spite? To give the devil something to do, eh, Paul?
LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix
our thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind
us; our day is over.
SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I
shall!
Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF.
LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time?
LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are
you, old friend? I have been waiting an hour for you.
AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son?
IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room
again, have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times
not to do so! [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have
spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers
everywhere! It is disgusting!
LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have
something very important to speak to you about.
BORKIN. So have I.
LVOFF. May I have a word with you?
IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a
minute. [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it?
LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I
want to speak to him in private.
SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF.
IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it
is your weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy.
He never used to drink at all; it is bad for him.
LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't
thinking of him at all.
IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would
be mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.]
LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can
put it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of
myself, I am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
My dear boy, put yourself in my place; remember that I am not a
free man, I am as putty in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive
me!
IVANOFF. What does this mean?
LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a
friend to me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her.
Believe me, she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and
nail. For heaven's sake, free yourself from her clutches!
IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now.
LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If
she should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look
you in the face again?
IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul,
but where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is
nothing I can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn.
LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.]
IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine
is even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my
wit's end, there is nothing I can sell now.
LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him;
doesn't he owe you sixty thousand roubles?
IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture.
LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but
you must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between
friends; remember I am your friend. We were students together,
both Liberals; we had the same interests and ideals; we studied
together at the University of Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He
takes out his purse] I have a private fund here; not a soul at
home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to you. [He takes out
the money and lays it on the table] Forget your pride; this is
between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I should! [A
pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take
it;
go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may
you choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by
your manner that you got it from me, or she would certainly go
for me, with her old jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face]
There, there, no matter. [He quickly takes up the money and
stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't take it, I was only joking.
Forgive me! Are you hurt?
IVANOFF waves his hand.
LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is-- [He sighs] This is a time of
sorrow and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he
cannot always stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped
into him some day, and then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but
it is the best I can think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the
soul, and yet I am not worried about you, brother. Wheat goes
through the mill, and comes out as flour, and you will come
safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, and
angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is
buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will
be soon arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty
murderer, a monster of cruelty, a robber.
IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching.
LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much.
IVANOFF. I never think.
LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing,
and drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She
is a sweet, honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her
mother and me! Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe
that such a treasure could belong to a fat old drunkard like me.
Go to her, talk to her, and let her cheer you. She is a good,
true-hearted girl.
IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone.
LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch]
Yes, I understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the
blessing of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then
stops] She is so clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping
yesterday, and she flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said,
"fire-flies shine at night so that the night-birds may make them
their prey, and good people are made to be preyed upon by gossips
and slanderers." What do you think of that? She is a genius,
another George Sand!
IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter
with me?
LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must
confess I was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I
think your troubles have been too heavy for you, and yet I know
you are not the kind to give in to them; you would not be
overcome by misfortune. It must be something else, Nicholas, but
what it may be I can't imagine.
IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and
yet no-- [A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to
say. I used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him.
Once, at threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he
loaded himself with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died
soon after. I think I have broken my back also. First I went to
school, then to the university, then came the cares of this
estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; did not
marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; no
one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left
as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We
are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do
everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how
do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite wrong;
go away, Paul, I am boring you.
LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got
out of bed on the wrong side this morning.
IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away!
LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am
going at once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.
IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a
man equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or
esteem me now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate
my voice, my hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take!
How ridiculous it is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was
healthy and strong, full of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I
worked with these hands here, and my words could move the dullest
man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, and grow indignant at the
sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of inspiration, and
understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights which I
used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my
worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a
bright future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child
looks into its mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am
tired and without hope; I spend my days and nights in idleness; I
have no control over my feet or brain. My estate is ruined, my
woods are falling under the blows of the axe. [He weeps] My
neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as an orphan. I
expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul trembles at
the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my treatment
of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened her
eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even
dreamed of. She believed me, and though for five years I have
seen her sinking under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and
losing her strength in her struggles with her conscience, God
knows she has never given me one angry look, or uttered one word
of reproach. What is the result? That I don't love her! Why? Is
it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. She is
suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible
coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes.
Oh, I am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is
sorry for me in my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me;
me, almost an old man! Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as
if by music, I yell: "Hurrah for a new life and new happiness!"
Next day I believe in this new life and happiness as little as I
believe in my happiness at home. What is the matter with me? What
is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the cause of this
weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick wife
wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses
fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike
myself. I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would
be a bullet through the head!
Enter LVOFF.
LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff.
IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day,
doctor, we shall neither of us have the strength to stand it.
LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me?
IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have
failed to discover yet what you want me to do.
LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly
heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me.
IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned
irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you
tell me?
LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying
and she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see
once more before she dies. They know that she is dying and that
she loves them still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to
flaunt their religious zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive
her. You are the man for whom she has sacrificed her home, her
peace of mind, everything. Yet you unblushingly go gadding to the
Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons that are absolutely
unmistakable!
IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there!
LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak
plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you
need not listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you
want her to die so that the way may be cleared for your other
schemes. Be it so; but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing
the life out of your wife by your heartless egoism, you let her
die naturally, do you think you would lose Sasha and Sasha's
money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could turn the girl's
head and get her money a year from now as easily as you can
to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to
die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's?
IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think
a man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to
answer your insults.
LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this
disguise!
IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the
world is easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie
for her money, did I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to
me, I changed my plans, and am now hustling her out of the world
so that I may marry another woman, who will bring me what I want?
You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and simple it all is! But you
are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there are too many
springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each other by
first impressions or by two or three external indications. I can
not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us
can understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at
the same time a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit
that, unless you are too self-confident.
LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious,
and that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue?
IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you
to answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you
want me to do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom
have I the honour of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's
doctor?
LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your
conduct toward your wife; it is killing her.
IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much
better than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me
exactly what to do!
LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your
behaviour.
IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand
yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a
thousand times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but
nothing has given you the right to torture me daily as you do.
LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour?
You have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this
place I knew that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I
never imagined that any one could be so criminal as to turn his
mind deliberately in the direction of wickedness. I loved and
esteemed humanity then, but since I have known you--
IVANOFF. I have heard all that before.
LVOFF. You have, have you?
He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in
at this moment dressed for riding.
LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another!
IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you?
SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you?
Why haven't you been to see us?
IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will
have a terrible effect on my wife!
SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall
go in a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well?
Why haven't you been to see us for such a long time?
IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now
you come here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of
you.
SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at
our house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you
suffering dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for
nights. I am going now, but first tell me that you are well.
IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every
one torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come
here. How morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly
guilty.
SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are
guilty, are you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done?
IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know!
SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is
guilty of. Perhaps you have been forging money?
IVANOFF. That is stupid.
SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife?
Perhaps you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you
did not mean to stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she
saw me telling you that I love you? No, that cannot be, because
you did not want her to see it--
IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I
love, and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my
feelings. All these are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with
which you cannot help me.
SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture
on the wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from
life?
IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a
tedious old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the
world; a girl appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a
hand to help him to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but
they are only found in novels and not in real life.
SASHA. No, they are found in real life too.
IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My
sufferings seem noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in
me a second Hamlet; but my state of mind in all its phases is
only fit to furnish food for contempt and derision. My
contortions are ridiculous enough to make any one die of
laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want to do
a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel
that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I
shall break something, or else--
SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash
something; break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with
me, it was foolish of me to come here. Very well, then, get
excited about it; storm at me; stamp your feet! Well, aren't you
getting angry?
IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl!
SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the
favour of smiling once more!
IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start
reforming me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good,
your face grows naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as
if you were looking at a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is
covered with dust. [He brushes her shoulder] A naive man is
nothing better than a fool, but you women contrive to be naive in
such a way that in you it seems sweet, and gentle, and proper,
and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way you have,
though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and
fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go
down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a
strong man than to nurse some whimpering invalid?
SASHA. Yes, it is worse.
IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good
thing Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious
with you for degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your
kindness, only invalids and hypochondriacs will be born into the
world.
SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any
girl would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one,
because every girl would like to do something by loving. A man
has his work to do, and so for him love is kept in the
background. To talk to his wife, to walk with her in the garden,
to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is all that love means
to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; that means
that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, how I
shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven,
I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For
instance, it would be the greatest happiness for me to write all
night for you, or to watch all night that no one should wake you.
I remember that three years ago, at threshing time, you came to
us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, and asked for a drink. When
I brought you a glass of water you were already lying on the sofa
and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there for half a day, and
all that time I watched by the door that no one should disturb
you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater her
love will be; that is,
I mean, the more she feels it
IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy
tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He
shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour,
Sasha, I really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I
have always liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life
said that our women were corrupt, or that such and such a woman
was on the down-hill path. I have always been grateful, and
nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, how comical you are!
And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all good Christian
folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. [He laughs
and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have
forgotten ourselves.
SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that
honest doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty
that I am here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay
with her. Stay, and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a
year, you must still stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You
must repent, and ask her forgiveness, and weep. That is what you
ought to do, and the great thing is not to forget to do right.
IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again!
SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two
weeks you must send me a line and I shall be content with that.
But I shall write to you--
BORKIN looks in at the door.
BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your
pardon, I did not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.]
SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do?
BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever.
SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes
out.]
BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and
found poetry instead. [Sings]
"You showed yourself to the world as a bird---"
IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down.
BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one
doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness.
[He sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the
country, her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After
her mother's death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until
then she will only give her ten thousand roubles and an old
flat-iron, and to get that she will have to humble herself to the
ground. [He feels in his pockets] Will you have a smoke? [He
offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are very good.
IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house
this instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go
this instant!
BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette.
IVANOFF. Go at once!
BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry?
IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You
think perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every
day, and for what purpose?
BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours?
IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you
have been spreading about me have made me disreputable in the
eyes of the whole countryside. You and I have nothing in common,
and I ask you to leave my house this instant.
BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of
irritation, and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as
you please. [He picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to
shake off this melancholy of yours; you're not a schoolboy.
IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of
me?
Enter ANNA.
BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go.
IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed.
ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she
come here for, I ask you?
IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty.
Think of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand
anything, but don't, oh, don't ask questions!
ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I
understand you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you
are! Do you remember that you came to me once and lied to me
about your love? I believed you, and left my mother, my father,
and my faith to follow you. Yes, you lied to me of goodness and
honour, of your noble aspirations and I believed every word---
IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie.
ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and
ill, but I have always loved you and have never left you for a
moment. You have been my idol, and what have you done? All this
time you have been deceiving me in the most dastardly way---
IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes,
but I have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of
that!
ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you
expected my mother and father to forgive me and give you my
money; that is what you expected.
IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must
have the patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.]
ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any
money, you tried another game. Now I remember and understand
everything. [She begins to cry] You have never loved me or been
faithful to me--never!
IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't
insult me with a lie!
ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff,
and now, to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the
head of his daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can
you deny it?
IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't
answer for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might
insult you!
ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You
have always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now
I know whose they are.
IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say
something terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He
shrieks] Hold your tongue, Jewess!
ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for
me to be silent now.
IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go,
for heaven's sake!
ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha!
IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that
you are dying.
ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he
IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I
am--how guilty! [He sobs.]
[The curtain falls.]
About a year passes between the third and fourth acts.
Content of ACT III [Anton Checkov's play: Ivanoff]
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