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Mr. H----, A Farce In Two Acts, a play by Charles Lamb

Act 1 - Scene 3

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_ ACT I - SCENE III

SCENE.--An Apartment in MELESINDA'S House.


[MELESINDA sola, as if musing.]

MELESINDA
H.H.H. Sure it must be something precious by its being concealed. It can't be Homer, that is a Heathen's name; nor Horatio, that is no surname; what if it be Hamlet? the Lord Hamlet--pretty, and I his poor distracted Ophelia! No, 'tis none of these; 'tis Harcourt or Hargrave, or some such sounding name, or Howard, high born Howard, that would do; may be it is Harley, methinks my H. resembles Harley, the feeling Harley. But I hear him, and from his own lips I will once for ever be resolved.

[Enter MR. H.]

MR. H.
My dear Melesinda.

MELESINDA
My dear H. that is all you give me power to swear allegiance to,--to be enamoured of inarticulate sounds, and call with sighs upon an empty letter. But I will know.

MR. H.
My dear Melesinda, press me no more for the disclosure of that, which in the face of day so soon must be revealed. Call it whim, humour, caprice, in me. Suppose I have sworn an oath, never, till the ceremony of our marriage is over, to disclose my true name.

MELESINDA
Oh! H.H.H. I cherish here a fire of restless curiosity which consumes me. 'Tis appetite, passion, call it whim, caprice, in me. Suppose I have sworn I must and will know it this very night.

MR. H.
Ungenerous Melesinda! I implore you to give me this one proof of your confidence. The holy vow once past, your H. shall not have a secret to withhold.

MELESINDA
My H. has overcome: his Melesinda shall pine away and die, before she dare express a saucy inclination; but what shall I call you till we are married?

MR. H. Call me? call me any thing, call me Love, Love! aye, Love, Love will do very well.

MELESINDA
How many syllables is it, Love?

MR. H.
How many? ud, that is coming to the question
with a vengeance. One, two, three, four,
--what does it signify how many syllables?

MELESINDA
How many syllables, Love?

MR. H.
My Melesinda's mind, I had hoped,
was superior to this childish curiosity.

MELESINDA
How many letters are there in it?

[Exit MR. H. followed MELESINDA repeating the question.] _

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