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_ ACT I
SCENE II.
A grove. [Enter WALTER and LARRY.]
LARRY.
Now by the black eyes of my Katy, but that master of
yours and captain of mine is a prince!
WALTER.
Tut, you hav'n't seen an inch yet of the whole hero. Had you followed him as I have, from a knee-high urchin, you'd confess that there never was soldier fit to cry comrade to him. O! 'twould have made your blood frisk in your veins to have seen him in Turkey and Tartary, when he made the clumsy infidels dance to the music of his broad sword!
LARRY.
Troth now, the mussulmans may have been mightily amused by the caper; but for my part I should modestly prefer skipping to the simple jig of an Irish bag-pipe.
WALTER.
Then he had the prettiest mode of forming their manners--
LARRY.
Arrah, how might that be?
WALTER.
For example: whenever they were so ill-bred as to appear with their turbans on before him, he uses me this keen argument to convince them they shewed discourtesy. He whips me out his sword, and knocks their turbans off--
LARRY.
Knocks their turbans off?
WALTER.
Aye, egad, and their heads to boot.
LARRY.
A dev'lish cutting way of reasoning indeed;
that argument cou'dn't be answered asily.
WALTER.
Devil a tongue ever wagg'd in replication, Larry.
--Ah! my fairy of felicity--my mouthful of melody--my wife--
[Enter ALICE.]
Well, Alice, we are now in the wilds of Virginia, and, tell me truly, doesn't repent following me over the ocean, wench? wilt be content in these wild woods, with only a little husband, and a great deal of love, pretty Alice?
ALICE.
Can you ask that?
are not all places alike if you are with me, Walter?
Song.--ALICE.
In this wild wood will I range;
Listen, listen, dear!
Nor sigh for towns so fine, to change
This forest drear.
Toils and dangers I'll despise,
Never, never weary;
And be, while love is in thine eyes,
Ever cheery.
Ah! what to me were cities gay;
Listen, listen, dear!
If from me thou wert away,
Alas! how drear!
Oh! still o'er sea, o'er land I'll rove,
Never, never weary;
And follow on where leads my love,
Ever cheery.
LARRY.
Och! the creature!
WALTER.
Let my lips tell thee what my tongue cannot.
[Kiss.]
LARRY.
Aye, do, do stop her mellifluous mouth; for the little nightingale warbles so like my Kate, she makes me sigh for Ballinamone; ah! just so would the constant creature carol all day about, roving through the seas and over the woods.
[Enter ROBIN.]
ROBIN.
Master Walter, the captain is a going to explore the
country, and you must along.
WALTER.
That's our fine captain, always stirring.
ROBIN.
Plague on his industry! would you think it, we are
all incontinently to fall a chopping down trees,
and building our own houses, like the beavers.
LARRY.
Well, sure, that's the fashionable mode of paying
rent in this country.
ALICE.
O, Walter, these merciless savages!
I sha'n't be merry till you return--
ROBIN.
I warrant ye, mistress Alice
--Lord love you I shall be here.
WALTER.
Cheerly, girl; our captain will make the red rogues scamper like so many dun deer. Savages, quotha! at sight of him, their copper skins will turn pale as silver, with the very alchemy of fear. Come, a few kisses, en passant, and then away! cheerly, my dainty Alice.
[Exeunt WALTER and ALICE.]
ROBIN.
Aye, go your ways, master Walter, and when you are gone--
LARRY.
What then! I suppose you'll be after talking
nonsense to his wife. But if ever I catch you
saying your silly things--
ROBIN.
Mum, Lord love you, how can you think it?
But hark ye, master Larry, in this same drama
that our captain spoke of, you and I act parts,
do we not?
LARRY.
Arrah, to be sure, we are men of parts.
ROBIN.
Shall I tell you in earnest what we play
in this merry comedy?
LARRY.
Be doing it.
ROBIN.
Then we play the parts of two fools, look you, to part with all at home, and come to these savage parts, where, Heaven shield us, our heads may be parted from our bodies. Think what a catastrophe, master Larry!
LARRY.
So the merry comedy ends a doleful tragedy, and
exit fool in the character of a hero!
That's glory, sirrah, a very feather in our cap.
ROBIN.
A light gain to weigh against the heavy loss
of one's head. Feather quotha! what use of
a plumed hat without a head to wear it withal?
LARRY.
Tut, man, our captain will lead us through all dangers.
ROBIN.
Will he? an' he catch me following him through
these same dangers--
LARRY.
Och, you spalpeen!
I mean he'll lead us out of peril.
ROBIN.
Thank him for nothing; for I've predetermined, look you, not to be led into peril. Oh, master Larry, what a plague had I to do to leave my snug cot and my brown lass, to follow master Rolfe to this devil of a country, where there's never a girl nor a house!
LARRY.
Out, you driveller! didn't I leave as neat a black-ey'd girl,
and as pretty a prolific potato-patch all in tears--
ROBIN.
Your potato-patch in tears! that's a bull, master Larry--
LARRY.
You're a calf, master Robin. Wasn't it raining?
Och, I shall never forget it; the thunder rolling,
and her tongue a-going, and her tears and the rain;
och, bother, but it was a dismal morning!
Song--LARRY.
I.
Och! dismal and dark was the day, to be sure,
When Larry took leave of sweet Katy Maclure;
And clouds dark as pitch hung just like a black lace
O'er the sweet face of Heav'n and my Katy's sweet face.
Then, while the wind blow'd, and she sigh'd might and main,
Drops from the black skies
Fell--and from her black eyes;
Och! how I was soak'd with her tears--and the rain.
[Speaks.]
And then she gave me this beautiful keep-sake
[Shows a pair of scissors.],
which if ever I part with, may a tailor clip me in two with his big shears. Och! when Katy took you in hand, how nicely did you snip and snap my bushy, carroty locks; and now you're cutting the hairs of my heart to pieces, you tieves you--
[Sings.]
Och! Hubbaboo--Gramachree--Hone!
II.
When I went in the garden, each bush seem'd to sigh
Because I was going--and nod me good-bye;
Each stem hung its head, drooping bent like a bow,
With the weight of the water--or else of its woe;
And while sorrow, or wind, laid some flat on the ground,
Drops of rain, or of grief,
Fell from every leaf,
Till I thought in a big show'r of tears I was drown'd.
[Speaks.]
And then each bush and leaf seem'd to sigh, and say, "don't forget us, Larry." I won't, said I.--"But arrah, take something for remembrance," said they; and then I dug up this neat jewel
[Shows a potato.];
you're a little withered to be sure, but if ever I forget your respectable family, or your delightful dwelling place--may I never again see any of your beautiful brothers and plump sisters!--Och! my darling, if you had come hot from the hand of Katy, how my mouth would have watered at ye; now, you divil, you bring the water into my eyes.
[Sings.]
Och! Hubbaboo--Gramachree--Hone!
[Exeunt.] _
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