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Title: The Heavy Dragoon
Author: W. S. Gilbert [
More Titles by Gilbert]
If you want a receipt for that popular mystery
Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon,
Take all the remarkable people in history,
Rattle them off to a popular tune!
The pluck of Lord Nelson on board of the Victory--
Genius of Bismarck devising a plan;
The humor of Fielding (which sounds contradictory)--
Coolness of Paget about to trepan--
The grace of Mozart, that unparalleled musico--
Wit of Macaulay, who wrote of Queen Anne--
The pathos of Paddy, as rendered by Boucicault--
Style of the Bishop of Sodor and Man--
The dash of a D'Orsay, divested of quackery--
Narrative powers of Dickens and Thackeray
Victor Emmanuel--peak-haunting Peveril--
Thomas Aquinas, and Doctor Sacheverell--
Tupper and Tennyson--Daniel Defoe--
Anthony Trollope and Mister Guizot!
Take of these elements all that are fusible,
Melt them all down in a pipkin or crucible,
Set them to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!
If you want a receipt for this soldierlike paragon,
Get at the wealth of the Czar (if you can)--
The family pride of a Spaniard from Arragon--
Force of Mephisto pronouncing a ban--
A smack of Lord Waterford, reckless and rollicky--
Swagger of Roderick, heading his clan--
The keen penetration of Paddington Pollaky--
Grace of an Odalisque on a divan--
The genius strategic of Caesar or Hannibal--
Skill of Lord Wolseley in thrashing a cannibal
Flavor of Hamlet--the Stranger, a touch of him--
Little of Manfred, (but not very much of him)--
Beadle of Burlington--Richardson's show;
Mr. Micawber and Madame Tussaud!
Take of these elements all that are fusible,
Melt them all down in a pipkin or crucible,
Set them to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!
[The end]
W. S. Gilbert's poem: Heavy Dragoon
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