Peace And War

________________________________________________
Title:     Peace And War
Author: Seumas O'Brien [More Titles by O'Brien]

What about the story you promised to tell me last night?" said Micus to his friend Padna.

"Draw your chair closer to the fire, and you'll hear it," said Padna, and this is what he told:

 

"Johnny Moonlight was so called because of his love of nocturnal rambling, and Peep o' Day won his name because he rose every morning to see the sun rising. Johnny and Peep were neighbors, and it was no unusual thing for Johnny to meet Peep as he wended his way home while Peep wended his way from it. Johnny was the more loquacious of the two, and when Peep, who rose earlier than was his wont, saw him watching the reflection of the moon in the placid waters of Glenmoran Bay, he up and ses:

"What are you doing at all, at all, Johnny?"

"I am watching the moonbeams glistening on the waters," replied Johnny, "and what greater pleasure could any man have and all for nothing too?"

"'Tis a glorious and a beautiful sight, surely, but the greatest of all pleasures is to see the sun rising and to listen to the birds singing in the bushes and to hear the cocks crowing and clapping their wings, not to say a word about watching the flowers opening up and drinking the morning dew. 'Tis in the morning that the world rejoices, and in the morning we see the work of God everywhere, and 'tis only in the darkness of the night that the badness comes upon men. Everybody loves the morning, and all the poets have written about it."

"Don't be bothering me about the poets. I'd rather walk by the light of the moon through the glens and the woods, through the winding boreens when the hawthorn and woodbine are in bloom, or by the shore of the bay when the world does be sleeping, and have nothing to disturb my thoughts, except maybe a rabbit skedaddling through the ferns, or a banshee wailing when some one gets killed in the wars, than to see the sun breaking through the clouds at the grey of dawn.

"There's a lonesomeness and a queerness about the beginning of everything, and 'twas always the shaky feeling that came over me when I stayed out so late as to be caught by the rising sun on the roadside. But every man is entitled to his own opinion until he gets married, so we won't quarrel, because people who quarrel are always sorry for the things they say and the things they forget to say."

"You can't change a man's opinion," said Peep, "unless you change himself, and then he'd be some one else and stick to his own opinion the same as any of us."

"That's true," said Johnny, "and there's nothing worse than truth except lies. People only tell the truth when they are afraid of telling lies and then they must lie about it before any one believes them.

"Truth will make lies all fall to pieces, but more lies will patch them together again. So 'tis as good to be such a liar that nobody believes you as to be so fond of the truth that no one would trust you."

"Wisha, for goodness' sake, do you think that I have nothing else to do but getting my brains twisted trying to follow your contrary reasoning, which only leads a sensible man into confusion and bewilderment? What's the use of anything if you don't know how to enjoy yourself?"

"Devil the bit, and why people should go to the inconvenience of annoying themselves in order to please nobody is more than I can understand."

"If people could understand why they're sensible they'd become foolish, and if they could understand why they're foolish they'd become sensible. But as the wise and the foolish will never know what's the matter with each other, there will be always trouble in the world."

"There will be always trouble while women are allowed to have their own way and their husbands' money."

"There's no sentiment in women."

"None whatever, but they are all able to act and play any part that the exigencies of the occasion may require, and that's better than having an abundance of sentiment or any other quality that hinders one's progress in a world of hypocrisy and conventionality."

"'Tis the great flow of words you have, to be sure, not to say a word about your common-sense. Was it from reading books that you got all your knowledge?"

"It wasn't, indeed, but from observing the ways of all the strange creatures on the face of the earth from man to the ants."

"The world is a queer place. Nothing but war of some kind or other while you're alive and peace only when you're dead, and then there may be no peace either, for all we know."

"'Tis thinking I am that you're right, and if you'll listen, I'll tell you what happened as I was sauntering about by myself last night."

"I'll listen, to be sure," said Peep.

"Well," said Johnny, "as I was walking along by the Faery Fort, I heard some one singing, so I quickened my pace and came upon two strange looking gentlemen who were marching to the tune of 'Home, Sweet Home.' And when I ses: 'Good night,' they answered back and ses: 'Good night kindly, sir,' ses they. 'Who may we have the pleasure of talking to?' 'To Johnny Moonlight,' ses I. 'And who may I be talking to?' 'Don't you know us,' says they altogether. 'Erra, of course I do,' ses I. 'Who would ye be but Oliver Cromwell and the Devil himself? And what may ye be doing here?'

"'We're on our way home after a trip to Europe,' ses the Devil, 'and we'd be glad to have the pleasure of your company.'

"'Your kindness is embarrassing,' ses I. 'Indeed I couldn't think of accepting such hospitality.'

"'Well, you can go to Belgium for all I care,' ses the Devil. 'But clear out of me sight, anyway, or I'll hand you over to me friend Oliver.' So with that they sat down on a ditch and commenced talking, and I stole up behind, and this is what I heard:

"'I'm homesick,' ses Cromwell.

"'So am I,' ses the Devil, 'and disappointed too. Europe is in a bad way, God help us!'

"'Indeed it is, and I don't think we ought to tell Napoleon anything about what we saw."

"''Twould only spoil his conceit to think that the world could be in such a condition and he not there to share in the glory.'

"''Tisn't talking about Napoleon I'd be, if I were you. Sure it's yourself has fallen on evil days. You thought that you could have a nice quiet holiday for yourself in Europe, but your nerves couldn't stand all the horrors of the war, so you must needs hurry home to recuperate and look after your own people,' ses Cromwell.

"'I can stand as much as you at any time,' ses the Devil.

"'Well, you must not have read the history of Ireland,' ses Cromwell.

"'And if I didn't, do you think I'd have you for a companion? I'm as good a man as you ever were,' ses the Devil.

"'You may be as good,' ses Cromwell, 'but I'll acknowledge no superiority from you or any one else.'

"'It don't look well for us to be quarreling, Oliver,' ses the Devil.

"'That's true. We should always be a source of comfort and consolation to each other. And we will, too. Indeed, it isn't fair to us to have Ireland as she is these times.'

"'What's wrong now?' ses the Devil.

"'Wisha, nothing in particular,' ses Cromwell.

"'Ireland has always been a great bother to myself and England,' ses the Devil.

"'She has never helped us, more's the pity,' ses Cromwell.

"'And 'tis yourself made a great impression on the minds of the Irish people,' ses the Devil.

"'Indeed and I did,' ses Cromwell, 'and on the English people too, and sure there's no one better known at home than ourselves.'

"'Well,' ses the Devil, ''tis said that a man only gets as much as he deserves, except when he's married. And no man is a prophet in his own country.'

"'True!' ses Cromwell. 'The eaten loaf is soon forgotten, and the English people would forget me if they could.'

"'Don't worry,' says the Devil. 'The Irish will never allow them to do that.'

"'I suppose my memory will be always kept green by the Irish,' ses Cromwell.

"'Of course,' ses the Devil. 'Of course it will. And what greater proof can you have of the inconsistency of mankind?'

"'There's nothing more consistent than man's inconsistency,' ses Cromwell.

"'Except woman's, of course,' ses the Devil. 'Sure I can't understand the creatures at all.'

"'I'm glad to hear you say so,' ses Cromwell, 'because if we could understand them, there would be no more surprises left for us.'"

 

"You have a wonderful memory, Johnny," said Peep, "an' I'll be glad to hear the remainder of your story when the moon sails over the hills again. I'll be off now, for the sun is rising, and I must be alone to enjoy myself."

"God speed you," ses Johnny. "Two is a crowd when a man's feeling sleepy."

[The end]
Seumas O'Brien's short story: Peace And War

________________________________________________



GO TO TOP OF SCREEN